The Saturday Show, 'Inspired' programming-Stevotrash

September 2001 saw the demise of one of the Beebs most popular children's television programmes as Live and Kicking went out with a damp fizzle. The show had been in dire straights since the birth of SMTV, hosted by the cheeky Geordie scamps Ant and Dec on ITV. Messer's PJ and Duncan transformed Saturday morning television by blending the inane children's TV format with adult humour and quality sketch craftsmanship to produce a show that not only appealed to younger but older audiences too. For the first time in Live and Kicking's history, they were receiving a regular mud stomping in the ratings at the hands of a rival show. Change was needed, so in a stroke of genius by a television exec with about as much understanding of television programming as my mum has in the hard house music scene, two presenters were replaced by…wait for this…FOUR! What an absolute masterstroke as if you secure 1 million viewers with two presenters, your bound to double your viewing figures with four presenters!! Mr TV exec pours himself a double scotch and gleefully admires his superb planning only to find that his production moves were more complementary of a weak ribena.

So we progress to the creation of the Saturday show. The PR blurb states 'it will change Saturday mornings forever..' Mr TV exec is pulling the strings behind the project once again. This time however he's a Saturday morning dynamo, he knows what people want this time around. Hence the arrival of (drum roll)……JOE MACE (the crowd erupts with indifference)!! A man who displays the charisma of a watchdog reporter, the man who learnt everything about this business from Vernon Kay, yes he is the man to lead the beeb into victory. Mr TV exec is mightily pleased with his new presenter and decides to pour himself a stiff brandy as he contemplates on who will be 'Ace Mace's' co presenter…AHAAAA!! Only one person could co present the show, ladies and gentleman straight from the old knackers yard, Miss Danni Behr! Do you see Mr TV execs genius? She used to present a show called the Word, and guess what? It was bollocks. Therefore the law of averages suggests that the next show she presents will be a big success. Excellleeennntt…..

What format will Mr Exec go for? He gazes into his crystal ball…'III HAVVVEEE IITT!!' Lets give it an oriental tinge!! From the cartoons to competitions!! The people are going to love it. Lets get a really shite band together and they could sing pop melodies live!!! HAHAHA (Mr exec takes a long gulp out of his glass). What is more symonious with 21st century entertainment? Witty banter, topical humour or refined sketches? Of course not silly, puppets are where the money is bbbaaabbbyy!

The Saturday show, quite plainly sucks as much as Live and Kicking. Within quite a few episodes into the Saturday Show's run, its quite obvious to see that it resembles a programme, which should be presented by Dave Benson Phillips not the funky, cool programming we were promised.